Birth Partner | For Everyone at the Birth

Separation Is Hard for Everyone

Returning to work after having a baby is one of the most emotionally difficult transitions for parents. You may feel guilty for leaving, relieved to be back in the adult world, worried about how your baby is doing, and unsure whether you are making the right choice. All of these feelings are normal and can coexist. There is no right answer that works for every family. What matters is making the choice that fits your family and then making the most of the time you have together when you are home.

Make the Most of Your Time Together

When you are with your baby, be fully present. Put the phone away. Make eye contact. Respond to the baby's cues quickly. Attachment is built through the quality of your interaction, not the quantity of hours. Parents who work full time can have just as strong a bond with their baby as parents who stay home. What matters is what you do with the hours you have, not how many there are.

Managing the Separation

Practice separation before your first day back. Leave the baby with the caregiver for short periods while you run errands so both of you can get used to the separation. Create a goodbye ritual, a special phrase and a kiss, and then leave quickly. Prolonged goodbyes make it harder. Wear your baby in a carrier during evenings and weekends; the extra closeness helps reconnect after time apart. If you are breastfeeding, pump regularly at work to maintain your supply. Many parents find that nighttime nursing or bottle feeding helps them reconnect after a day away.

Choosing Childcare

The right childcare arrangement depends on your baby's temperament, your budget, and your values. Options include in-home nannies, family daycare, daycare centers, and care by relatives. Whatever you choose, look for a low child-to-adult ratio, a safe environment, caregivers who respond to babies' cues, and open communication about feeding, sleep, and discipline. Trust your gut. If a place feels wrong, it probably is.